Systemic Coaching: 3 Powerful Shifts Beyond “Fixing Yourself”

Systemic coaching often begins not with a tool, but with a simple story. One of my favourites is the “pit on the sidewalk” text often attributed to Jorge Bucay (Goal Buddy)

I’m getting up in the morning.
I’m going out.
There is a pit on the sidewalk.
I do not see it and I fall into it.

The next day I’m going out,
I forget that there is a pit on the sidewalk,
and again I fall into it.

On the third day, I come out of the house and try to remember,
that there is a pit on the sidewalk.
However, I forget and I fall into it.

On the fourth day, I leave home and try to remember the pit.
I remember and yet,
I do not see the trap and fall into it.

On the fifth day I’m going out.
I remember that I should be careful about the hole in the pavement,
So I am walking, looking down.
I see it, however, I fall into it.

On the sixth day, I’m going out.
I remember the pit.
Looking for it with my eyes,
I’m trying to skip it, but I fall into it.

On the seventh day, I’m going out.
I see the pit. I run, I jump,
with the tip of my foot, I touch the opposite edge,
but it is not enough and I fall into it.

On the eighth day, I’m going out,
I see the pit, I run, I jump and I get on the other side!
I’m so proud of myself that I celebrate with joyful jumps…
And I slip, I fall again in the pit.

On the ninth day, I’m going out,
I see the pit, I run, I jump
and continue on my way.

On the tenth day, right today,
I understand that it is easier to go on the opposite sidewalk.

Imagine that your life is a road you walk along every day.
And on that road, there is a pit.

At first, you fall into it and don’t understand why.
Then you start being more careful.
Then you learn to jump.
Then you jump better and better.
And at some point, you even start feeling proud of how well you can live with that pit.

Most approaches to personal development and coaching work exactly at this level. 
They help you to:

• watch your step more carefully,
• jump higher,
• get less angry when you fall,
• get out of the pit faster.

This is useful.
But I call it work inside the system.

Systemic coaching, the approach I work with, starts with a different question.
Not: “How can I stop falling?”
But:
“Why do I walk on this side of the street every single day?”
And:
“What keeps me in this configuration, even when I already know there is a pit here?”

In systemic coaching, we look not only at your behaviour, but at the context in which this behaviour becomes logical.
We explore:

• which expectations you remain loyal to,
• which decisions you made a long time ago and have never revisited,
• which of your values support you in continuing to act this way.

As long as this route is not consciously seen, you can be very smart, strong, and disciplined,
and still end up in the same pit again and again.

Systemic coaching is not about becoming better within the same life.
It is about seeing where you actually have a choice.

Sometimes the most mature step is not another jump,
but a calm decision to cross to the other side of the street, choose a different street, or add another strategy.
The key point is understanding that you have more than just one strategy available.

It would be pointless for me to lead you and tell you where to go.
My task is to help you see the whole street—or even the entire block—rather than only the small part right in front of your feet.

When this happens, decisions become simpler, actions less tense, and responsibility more mature.
Not because you have “become better,”
but because you have started to see the system you live in.

If you wish, in systemic coaching we can look together at where this “pit” is in your life right now
and what actually keeps you walking exactly there.
And from this awareness, freedom of choice emerges.